Altruism: from self-respect arises free action for the other

Dear Ernesto,
as you can see I could not resist the temptation to reply as soon as possible to your very welcome letter, in which, taking a cue from a sentence of Teacher, you ask me for my humble opinion on the concept of altruism.
Of course, honestly, hearing such a question from you, from a so-called spiritual seeker, I must admit that it has left me quite amazed, however I will try to do my best and express my opinion on it as clearly as possible. .
It is also certain that giving a definition of “altruism” is not an easy thing, also because altruism is very difficult to codify, it is very difficult to generalize; however, I repeat, I will try to do my best.
So what can this “altruism” be, of which so much is said?
It would seem much simpler and easier to be able to say, define altruism by saying what in reality is not altruism, because in this way my saying, my speaking would be facilitated by practical examples. Altruism can be defined as something that is innate in the individual, that is conquered, that is part of the human interiority, is a something that is acquired as the individual proceeds on his evolutionary path; and it is something, therefore, very far away, very different from the miserable selfishness that, on the other hand, seems to prevail in the current physical world.
But let it be, my dear Ernesto, let it be the analysis of selfishness, because io I believe that each individual is able to see and understand how he moves, how he acts in the physical world, and therefore understand, through this vision of himself and his actions, what selfishness is.

Altruism, in my humble opinion, is being able to go beyond oneself, to go beyond one's personal needs, while trying not to mortify oneself, to maintain respect for oneself unchanged; this is very important, my dear Ernesto, because very often it is believed that being altruistic means precisely mortifying one's own person, silencing one's needs.

Well no! This is not exactly the case, because as long as the individual, man, will find himself having to act, to move in the physical world, he will necessarily be linked to needs, to needs, which he will have to face and which he will have to respect. .
And you know, my dear Ernesto, you certainly know to whom and to what I want to refer in particular.
However, in order to continue the analysis of altruism, we must be very careful, because very often I have found myself, observing men, to see people who acted in a certain way, apparently altruistic and then "reproach" the person towards whom they behaved in that seemingly altruistic way, telling them, "I did this just for you, I did it to do you a favor"; and this, my dear Ernesto, is certainly not altruistic, since altruism is, as I said before, something innate, spontaneous, which makes you act like this without your realizing it.
And when an individual is found to have apparently had an altruistic behavior, to then point it out, underline it, put it in evidence in some way, it means that he has not understood anything; it means that, at the very least, he is trying to convince himself that he was being altruistic, it means that between sé and he is saying, “Oh, how good I was; oh, how selfless I was! ”; all to hide his still crude selfishness. And all this behavior, my dear Ernesto, does not come one millimeter close to altruism.

Altruism is trying to help others, to respect them, to offer them a hand, indeed both, to do everything possible for their happiness and well-being, but in a spontaneous, natural way, I would say almost as something natural. ; something that cannot be achieved like - I know - a degree, a great social position and things like that; but something that is realized through time, through lives, lives and lives, through experiences of experiences, pain, suffering, boredom, anger, envy, jealousy; in short, through all these things.

The altruistic being is conquered by suffering, living in solitude, it is conquered in thousands of ways, but one thing is certain: that once conquered it is not forgotten, once it is introjected, once it has entered one's interiority, it is no longer abandoned; and those people who say to their friend, after having done him a courtesy: "I did this only for you", rest assured that they have not yet conquered even a crumb of that altruism for which they still find themselves living in the world physicist.
Altruism is something that is part of being, like artistic talent but, unlike this, it is not used, put in place to arouse wonder, applause, pleasure, but for the sole purpose of to provide free and humbly well-being to every creature, with the intimate intent of stimulating that same creature to learn to have a similar behavior.
My dear Ernesto, I could have gone on further, but I don't want to bore you; for the moment I prefer to finish here, of course you will still write to me, of course you will not feel satisfied and you will further seek my opinion on the matter. I greet you and, in the hope of meeting you soon, I embrace you affectionately.
Your very fond Vito

Dear Vito,
I have received your letter a few days ago and have carefully read your response, your thoughts on altruism. I must say that I was a little perplexed, amazed, to see how little you have dwelt on the subject, in my opinion so broad and so vast.
To summarize, therefore, you stated in your letter that altruism is nothing other than knowing how to give oneself to others, without however mortifying oneself.
In other words, being altruistic means reaching out to others trying not to fail in their own needs.
I do not accept this statement and I context it partly because, in my opinion, being truly altruistic means knowing how to give oneself entirely to others, because in my opinion the moment one feels within oneself the desire to help others automatically forgets one's needs.
I mean by this that in my opinion - and perhaps in this way I will be wrong - being altruistic means above all forgetting to have needs, to have needs, to have impulses and things like that.
This is done not to mortify one's person, one's own personality, one's own individuality, but precisely because the drive towards others, towards the neighbor, is so strong as to make those who are the strongest selfish needs totally null and void.
I agree with you, however, for that part that concerns the fact that the true altruist is the one who helps without doing anything to show their altruism; on this I totally agree and believe that any other individual agrees with us, as far as this statement is concerned, at least.
Therefore, in my opinion, this point remains obscure, and I think I can also interpret other people who, like me, will not share this point.
I beg you, therefore, to clarify me, to try to be clearer, because I mean that perhaps you meant something different from that simple affirmation which, put in this way, so called, can be easily misinterpreted.
Please, therefore, to clarify at least in part and I hope that you will be able to do it as soon as possible.
I regret being so oppressive with you and always asking you for explanations about it, but your figure is so important to me that what you are able to express can be of great help to me.
I await your response, my dear friend, and greet you affectionately. Authorless

My dear Ernesto,
it is with great regret that I am going to answer you, regret motivated by the fact of not being able in reality to consistently express certain concepts.
What I stated in that letter has definitely been misinterpreted by you, just as it will most likely be misinterpreted by anyone else who will read it.
In fact, I had stated on that occasion that being altruistic means dedicating oneself to others, offering help to others without harming oneself and, in my opinion, this statement seemed clear to me, it appeared lucid to me, it seemed to me that it could express exactly what I, inside of me, I'm feeling.
Also because, if I make a comparison with a statement made by the Master, I see that there is nothing that can indicate any contrast.
In fact, that affirmation of Christ said to love your neighbor (your "neighbor" or rather, to be precise) as yourself. Which, in my opinion, implies that first of all the individual who is about to lend a hand to another individual must be able to love himself, but to love himself - in my opinion - means not to suppress, not to annul one's personality, to listen to one's needs, if only to the primary ones, to those not so clearly and evidently selfish, but, at least, to the need to eat, to rest the right hours, to do all those things necessary for one's own survival, if only to one's physical survival.
It is in these terms, in fact, that my affirmation of not mortifying oneself was intended to express that concept.

Not mortifying oneself means listening, first of all, to one's physical needs and, why not, to one's spiritual needs. Only in this way - in my opinion and, why not, in the opinion of many of my other companions - will it be possible for the individual himself to find himself in that physical and mental condition suitable, right and necessary to be able to do something really useful for their fellow men, for their brothers.

It is truly absurd - again in my opinion - to renounce one's needs to give oneself to others, to mortify oneself to help others, thus risking not having the necessary strength (even only at the level of energy) to be able to act positively on others!
I hope this clarification will suffice this time. However, if not, you can continue to write to me and I will try to expand further what I want to hear.
Your every line will always be welcome and with this I greet you dearly and embrace you affectionately. Your Vito

I have seen your hands reach out to mine, I have seen the thrill of your hands in search of other hands to hold.
As I watched them, I heard requests for help coming from them; in some moments these requests for help came to me like desperate screams.

I saw your eyes, mute, that silently sought contact with mine, I saw your eyes becoming more and more moist as I looked at them, I felt a request for help coming from them, a request that touched for a few moments the dramatic tone of a desperate scream.

I saw your mouth, I saw your tight lips, almost unable to utter a word, and they were tight, tight, and your lips too, even your mouth were asking for help.
Then I observed you from afar: your whole being, your whole body, tense, bent, suffering, was nothing more than a request for help.

I looked at you, I looked at you carefully, I heard what you wanted to tell me even without words;
I lived intense moments of pain, your pain that I wanted to share and make it become part of me.
I cried for this suffering of yours that involved me everything and overwhelmed me;
I cried, albeit in silence, with you;
I shared with you - in short - everything I could share to alleviate, to calm, to diminish your suffering.

My sensitivity, my being so receptive to the suffering of others, to suffering in general, allowed me to do something for you,
they allowed me not to make you feel alone, abandoned, forgotten in a moment like that.

My sensitivity, my being receptive to pain, made it possible for you to see your brother cry and suffer with you.

And now that you are better, now that suffering, your pain are a part of the past, now that your being, your hands, your eyes, your mouth no longer ask for help in that so desperate way, I'm looking myself and I am wondering to myself if I was able to really do something for you, if I was able to help you, if I was able to wipe even a tear in your eyes. Romeo

Readings for the interior: every day, a short spiritual reading of the Ifior Circle and of the Florence 77 Circle, on Whatsapp.
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