Restlessness, the way to face it and overcome it 2

Q - So, the basic problem is always "know yourself"?

Well, no doubt that is always the cornerstone to start from. Io I would like to know how much and if you recognized yourself in what I have spoken about.

D - Oh yes, very much, yes. The things you said are true, all true.

And then, in the course of your hectic days, look for - in the moments when you can be aware that there is something troubling you - to stop for a moment to try to get it to the conscious part of you.
This, without a doubt, even if it won't solve the problem, it will lead you to have the best elements to be able to face it and moreover it will let out that energy that was turning on itself inside you, allowing you to be more balanced, more harmonious and, therefore, to face your needs and your needs in a different way.

D - I'm not very clear what you said about children towards their parents: in the sense of understanding what happened, you mean? Because with the example of the fable – of which I immediately said that it seemed to describe a certain moment in my life – without a doubt (at least I think I understood) the parent makes the mistake of experiencing his own emotions, his own problems , its crises without taking into account that the child suffers the consequences, but the child, even tomorrow when he becomes an adult, what can he gain from this?
The non-grudge towards the parent? Realize that he couldn't do better? But the damage remains.

Well, the damage in the meantime remains to the extent that the ex-child, now an adult, has not worked on himself, when there has been no more adequate response, when the interview is interrupted, in the a moment in which there was no availability on both sides, when one thought more about carrying on one's resentment than trying to dissolve it. 

We are no longer talking about children, of course; the speech cannot be referred to the child because he does not yet have all the tools to be able to act on himself, but we are talking about the adult who, certainly, was formed under the pressure coming from the external environment, but who in any case now "has" the tools to be able to change what is wrong about him; and, if he doesn't, at that point the responsibility is all his.
He cannot blame the parent for the mistakes he is making, because if he knows they are mistakes he must not make them anymore; because continuing to commit them, blaming the parents, does not make any sense.

D - Of course, so he should understand that maybe, instead of the parent, in a similar situation, it is not said that he would have known or could have done better, so to drop the grudge, eventually, but that's all?

Of course. But that should be a snapshot; after all, that is not the most important thing, because at the very moment in which the child, tormented, realizes that the parent could have his "whys" and that - although he may have been wrong in bad faith - nevertheless he is not in his possibility of being able to judge, at that moment the speech must automatically fall by itself and then the child must turn his attention to himself to correct those errors that he believes that the parent has committed by making them fall back on him.
But if the child limits himself to attributing errors to the parent and in the meantime, on this attribution, carries on the excuse to make the same mistakes again and again, the speech is no longer acceptable and can no longer be discharged as a responsibility on any other person who on himself.

D - Thank you. I understand.
D - This speech seems to me that we have already done it.

D - If on the other side there is no availability, or at least there does not seem to be, one cannot think of changing the other, it is a presumption, I think, to think of changing the other. One can only work on oneself, as has been said up to now ...

But, undoubtedly, it is not that we can expect to change others. Those who delude themselves into being able to do so are wrong. The other only changes when he intends to change.
At the limit, perhaps there is the feeling that it is changing due to the action done by another, but this only happens because "by coincidence" the other's action coincides with a moment when he was ready to change.
What to do - you say - if the other person, this alleged antagonist, continues to entrench himself in his positions without apparently having any will, no desire to change? 

Undoubtedly, there is nothing left to do but accept his positions, clarify which ones are yours, without making these positions a moment of revenge or struggle.

I know that it is not easy, also because then impulsive reactions and certain aggressions come into play that perhaps were more or less latent in the person's unconscious, but especially those who have come to meet our teaching - this is a discourse that is addressed to those who know these things, mainly - always has a reason, a way, a means, even with words, to be able to reason and get their ideas to the other so that the other can, on the basis of the same common reasoning , mitigate their positions.
Do you have something to ask on this very important subject, which you did not expect this evening?

D - About what you said before, about the sense of uneasiness that often happens both in the morning or in any case during the day, if one tries to focus attention on himself, if he tries to understand where this unease comes from, however, despite the efforts the restlessness remains, then one no longer knows which fish to take ...

But the important thing is to try. Certainly you are not always ready to face what lies within you, so much so that if you were always completely ready everything would immediately surface. The important thing is to put yourself in a position to try to face it and be ready to grab the right moment through the many roads, the many means available to understand.

D - Sometimes it happens that one believes that it derives from a certain thing and instead, in reality, then it derives from another; that is, in the analysis that is made of the state of mind that one has, it is not always possible ...

But in the meantime you have focused on something that probably, just for the fact that it came to your mind at that moment, some problem - probably less than the other one - was causing you.

D - Yes, you have to go on by trial and error, in conclusion.

Certainly. Then it can happen - as I said - that sometimes you are ready and therefore the right answer, the right direction (because then more than anything else, it is the direction to find) come to light immediately while other times you will put yourself in a position to observe yourself and you will discover many other small things that will lead you astray, but which at the same time will not go to waste but will help you to put together in a better way the inner bricks that make up the your unknown part, until this inner being of yours is built in such a way, thanks to these small bricks, that you will also be able to support the weight of that bigger brick that you did not want to put.

D - I wanted to ask you something: we are used to knowing our reactions, at least trying to modify and overcome them, and we certainly enter a context of presumption when we avoid asking for advice, even clinging to a serene discussion and opinion of others. Of course, I don't always and only think of one teacher, the masters are rare and difficult to meet. But the value of a word, of a discussion, of starting a discussion together around what are your own needs and requirements of that particular moment, could they be useful?

They could undoubtedly be useful, but not for all individuals; this is not the problem. There are individuals who are able to change themselves by looking at their own interiority, there are others who instead need immediate comparison with other people, and then there are those who, on the other hand, despite comparing themselves with other people, resist this observation.

It is enough to observe what happens, for example, in psychoanalytic practice; in order to obtain some small results it is necessary for the patient to collaborate otherwise, if the patient does not want to improve, no psychoanalyst will ever be able to improve him, even by a small step, for how many words can be said or for how many types of approaches can be taken .

D - Sorry, I thought that the impulses that were formed after birth, during the first years of life, due to trauma or something like that, I thought they affected a bit the whole personality future of a man, however beyond the awareness of reflection of what these problems may be, so much remains that imprint of the personality ...

Wait, wait a minute. As far as the personality is concerned, you know that it is what concerns the manifestation on the physical plane, that is, the action of the physical body, the astral body, the mental body. Now, however strong the traumas that the individual experienced in childhood may have been and which apparently forged in some way his relationship with external reality - what you commonly call personality - well, I can guarantee you that there is no it is nothing, no aspect of your way of being towards the outside or even towards your inside that cannot be changed at any moment if only you want to.

However great your trauma may have been, however great the difficulties you have gone through, however great the pains you have suffered, none of this can continue to be within you if you know how to let that flow feel you own; since the personality is transitory but the feeling is a thread that binds all your existences and this is the important one, the one that really creates what you are, at the very moment in which you understand that something that your sufferings, your past traumas they wanted you to understand, it is not your personality that changes, but the flow of the vibration of your Akasic body that changes.

(Moti emphasizes the change in the Akasic vibration as a consequence of the understanding achieved, and does not seem to emphasize the change that inevitably also occurs in the personality.; he expresses himself in this way because he intends to affirm the prevalence of the Akasic process and the subordination to this of any trauma in the personality.
From this perspective, the binding statement of the previous paragraph can be understood:
“No aspect of your way of being towards the outside or even towards your inside that cannot be changed at any moment if only you want to".
When understanding occurs, everything downstream of it can be changed. Ed)

Q - And when, for example, that youthful, adolescent, infantile impulse reappears when one knows it and tries to control it in its behavior? I mean: there is always a certain impulse that is due to a formation in the first years of life.

It doesn't necessarily happen again. It comes back until everything about it has been understood. Evidently - as we said in the past - if the situation reappears, both internal and external, it is because there is at least some nuance to be understood yet, which makes it useful in its continual recurrence.

Remember that everything that happens happens for a benefit in your favor; everything that presents itself, however painful it may be, is because it must help you to understand, to continue inevolution. For the same reason, when these situations are no longer useful to you, it certainly makes no sense for them to come back or, if they do, you will ignore them.

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I don't wish I had depressed you too much. Indeed, I would say that you should be happier than before because my words were not words indicative of bad situations, but rather meant to give hope, to give certainty that everything you are and that everything that you don't like about yourself can be, if you want it - this is the important corollary - modified and transformed into what you most think is the best for you.

Of course, maybe this best is still governed by the ego, certainly maybe still under the laws of your lower bodies, but this only means that you will still have to work and still modify until, finally, you will be able to get out of the chain of births and deaths. to arrive at something different, so different that we hesitate to talk about it.

D - There is the phrase "you are not ready" which seems a bit ambiguous to me at times, because it gives us an impression ... like at school: you are not ready and you say: "Then they leave me alone, because I am not ready ”, Instead it would take some of our work, in order to be ready. It almost seems as if passively saying: “it doesn't concern me, because I'm not ready anyway”.

Well, from a certain point of view this can also be true; on the other hand, my dear, we have dealt with so many of those topics, so many of those branches that, if you had to try to prepare yourself well on all of them, you would spend your life trying to study, to understand the teaching, which undoubtedly is important, it can help you, it serves to lead your lives forward by making you understand certain why, perhaps limiting your suffering over time; but that - however it may be - we always remember that it must not replace your life, it must not be the reason for your life.

Why the reason for your life is essentially to live, and to live means to face everyday experiences, it means to face other people, it means to feel bad, to rejoice, to be happy, to suffer, to sing, to see a show and so on. So we certainly cannot expect you to prepare in advance for everything we are going to face and it is for this reason that sometimes we cannot go as deep as we would like. 

On the other hand, think about it too: if we had proposed to you the discourses on the unconscious, on genetics, which we have recently faced only that 6 or 7 years ago, how many of you would have been interested, would have remained, and would not have fled into prey to the most terrible fear of having to start studying?

D - I was referring to not being ready to make certain quality leaps in one's life, not to take certain responsibilities. One hears himself said: “If he doesn't take it, he sees that he is not ready” and then he sits there calmly because he waits to be ready and then he will decide to take responsibility. I wasn't talking about the studio.

But it's not about standing there and waiting to be ready because you don't know when you are ready. What you have to do is put yourself in the best position so that, when the time comes, you know how to grasp it. You certainly can't say out of the blue, "I'm solving my problem now," because if you haven't understood all of the mechanics involved in your problem, your problem isn't solvable at that moment.

D - But we must begin not to solve it, but to think about where the problem lies.

In the meantime, finding out what the problem is, that is the first step to take. Instead, many times you hide even the problem from your own eyes, limiting yourself to feeling nervous or restless, oppressed or impatient and on and on and on and on, Scifo would say.

D - Sorry, I wanted to ask you about therestlessness: this morning restlessness happens to me very often and then I tried and I'm trying to do a work on myself to see and understand why. However, there are times when it seemed to me that I came to understand why but, once I know why, I continue to be restless; that is, it is not that I can take the next step. The fact of working on the reason for the restlessness, however, once you get to the reason ...

Well, in the meantime, dear, we have to see if that's the real reason, first; and secondly, finding out the reason is the first step; it is not that discovering the reason eliminates the anxiety.
Let's take the story as a slightly more concrete example and don't get personal: it is evident that Ozh-en was restless and impatient because the life she was leading did not suit her; neither the husband's behavior nor the conduct of the housewife's life; this is very evident in the fable. Then she could have taken a moment to observe herself and come to understand that her was dissatisfaction with the life she was leading. 

This would not have eliminated the uneasiness; indeed, perhaps it would even cause a little anguish because he meant questioning his whole life.
The next step should have been to look at why that kind of life no longer suited her, and the reason is never just one but there are many; it could be right for a wrong relationship with her husband, such as the effort of having the responsibility of a child - which, let's all remember, is always a difficult responsibility to carry on - or to lead a life that did not put her in relationship with others , if not for the things of daily routine and therefore did not gratify her, did not satisfy her. 

All these elements certainly could have been the "why", but the problem is go even deeper and see what it was that moved these things in her: if he needed more gratification, more attention, to change his life, but what kind of life?

And there, on that basis, to go on until a different balance was found, a little better, to then get ready to do another investigation and find another balance that is still different, a little better, because at that way - in small steps - certainly one suffers much less than leaving the house and saying: "Now I leave the house, I leave the child, I leave the husband and lead another life".
Also because escaping from situations does not mean solving problems. Weather

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