But to be honest with yourself, dear ones, one must primarily learn not to observe others and make them a term of comparison, as making a judgment, an assessment of the behavior of others is really something totally foolish.
It happens, in fact, that very often the individual tends to justify his insincerity towards himself by saying that, perhaps, even that person who is so valued, so important, so considered also evolved behaves in a certain way. This is, definitely, an alibi, an excuse not to go and look for the real motivations that concern closely.
Learn, therefore, to observe others as they present themselves to you, trying, perhaps, to perceive in their behavior something useful for you, but useful in the sense that they can be a stimulus to take that path of sincerity that leads to your interior. .
Never barricade yourself behind the behavior of others, because if you are unable to know your behavior as you are unable to be honest with yourself, let alone what you can understand of the reasons that can push another to act in a certain way .
Therefore, be understanding with all others and uncompromising with yourself as we have already told you and as other Masters have already said and be aware that seeking the path of sincerity towards oneself is certainly a very difficult and arduous task, however it is not said that for this reason it is not full of satisfactions and gratifications. fabius
Ed io I observe you, children and brothers: I observe you when you establish your relationships with others, when you ask others, in the name of friendship, to be sincere.
And I ask you for this, dear ones: but are you sincere when you say you want others to be honest with you?
I ask you this because I have seen too many friendships end in nothing, if not even in rancor, when one of the friends, truly, is sincere with the other. If, in fact, a friendship can be interrupted or modified by a lying behavior, I can tell you with tranquility that I have seen as many times an alleged friendship relationship interrupted when sincerity was implemented.
Oh, how nice it would be if, really, in addition to asking others for sincerity, the individual was able to accept that others are sincere with him.
Instead, usually, children and brothers, when sincerity is requested, this sincerity is requested expecting that the other responds by saying what you want to be answered. But when the other responds according to different expectations that are not suited to those of the needs of those who wait, then the sincerity, so often required, so often considered the basis of friendship, becomes instead a reason to shatter the relationship. Ananda
Sincere is the water of the river that flows from the source,
he slips along the mountain, caresses the valley, welcomes his other brothers
and is lost without hesitation in the immensity of the sea.
Sincere is the wind that shakes the branches or touches the roofs of the cities,
wiping away tears or drinking smiles.
Sincere is the land that opens to the plow, the river and the rain, the sun and the snow, welcoming in sé, without refusals or preferences, every seed that seeks refuge in it.
But the river is the river. the wind is the wind, the earth is the earth
and you too, my brother, will come to discover and be what you truly are.
Hiawatha
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It is not always appropriate to tell what you think about some aspect of him to a friend because he could be particularly fragile compared to the thing to say. In my view we must then be cautious because producing suffering, in being sincere, may not produce changes in the behavior of the friend but closure. Better then to say quietly and covertly what you think, highlighting the positive aspects of the person concerned to bring them hope.
As for the sincerity towards me, I think I have learned to observe myself and not to break a friendship just for an observation made with respect to one aspect of my behavior.
As I read, I tried to associate what was being described with my experience. Have I always accepted the sincerity of others even when it pointed out a flaw of mine? I wondered. And discovering that the other person was not sincere, did they disappoint me? And how am I with the other? Over time, the attitude has evolved. In the sense that, as I understand that the other is something so difficult to understand, as I am for others, that border between truth and lie is less marked. The other says what he feels true or false for himself, it is his way of interpreting his reality and managing it in the way he can. Does he tell me the truth because he is a sincere friend? Does he hide the truth from me to protect me? And so do I too? And what's the right way. It depends. It always depends on the intention of ego or love that underlies it, in my view. The only way I have, not so much the sincerity, but the consistency of my actions, with what I affirm, is to observe myself at all times and monitor that there is congruence. And if it's not there, don't be afraid to recognize it. A process that engages so much energy that it does not leave too much time to think about what the other's intention is.
While reading, I also asked myself many of Natasha's questions, but on everything I felt the strong echo of Fabius' words, that is, to be understanding with others and uncompromising with oneself.
But Ananda, for a moment insinuates a doubt in me, yes, just for a moment ...
I often know that I am not sincere or that I am not completely sincere. I always do it to defend my image in front of others or because I don't have enough strength. More frequently with people with whom I have less confidence, but often there is concealment even with close people, even if only for some aspects of communication, not necessarily related to the content.
It all seems very complicated to me. At least right now.