D - It has often been said by the Guides to "act as a mirror". Please, I would like you to give us some clarification. What does it mean to mirror others? Thank you.
You have a life of relationship with the other people around you; this means that you have an exchange, what you live is useful for you but also for other people, you are never closed only in yourself.
Certainly you give something to the other, and certainly the other also gives something to you, but you are unable to grasp the reality of the other, his truth; you see "what you want to see" in the other, so much so that - if you think about it for a moment - how many times do you meet a couple in love and, sometimes with a little naughty, sometimes a little surprised, you say: "But how does that person fall in love with that other so ugly ?! ".
You say this many times, perhaps because you are also a little jealous, probably.
Now, how can such a thing really happen? And there is also physical attraction between two people! And, if there is this physical attraction, how is it possible that physically acceptable people can fall in love with a very ugly person physically? Have you ever wondered?
D - They see beyond.
D - It will probably be beautiful inside.
Sometimes it might be like that, but other times - most of it - it's actually one of the people it projects what it wants to see and sees what it wants to see; he then projects his own needs and desires onto the other person; and then the other person becomes a mirror of who he is.
You do this all the time in your dealings with others; look at your relationships with your children, for example: do you really think that children are as you see them?
No, dear ones, get rid of this illusion! If you could truly see your children as they are, you would not recognize them as your children, absolutely!
You see in them "what you choose to see",
the one that most reminds you of something about yourself.
In this sense, "others are your mirror", because if you fail to observe yourselves and understand yourselves and you turn outside, you will have, in any case, the way to arrive at the famously known "know yourself" because, even if you don't look directly at yourself, observing others and trying to understand others - those around you - you end up thinking about yourself (*); because what you see in that other, which you criticize and observe, is something that has struck you because it resonates in you, it is something that you recognize in you and therefore it is your own projection.
Many times, in people who are next to you you recognize only certain defects and not others; you seem blind to certain even gross defects that person possesses, yet you just don't see them, it's not that you don't see them: you just don't see them because there are other aspects that strike you more because they remind you of something about yourself, and they attract your attention so those other aspects do not even observe them.
D - A practical example - sorry - could be that if io I don't appreciate how my daughter is, in fact I should observe my anger, my non-acceptance?
You should observe it because not accepting what your daughter is like is probably because you recognize something in your daughter that you do not accept in yourself.
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D - Someone interpreted "acting as a mirror" go to one and tell him: “Look, you get it all wrong, you don't understand anything”. It seems to me a rather strange talking mirror and I ask you for confirmation if by chance it is not a valid interpretation.
More than anything else it seems to me presumption, this. Let's say that it can also be a valid interpretation, but this is possible that it is only done by people with a very great one evolution, that is, such as to be able to take as an example and therefore indicate to the other what the other does not want to see; however the ego must be almost completely abandoned to be able to do so, otherwise it happens that the mirror only reflects what it wants to reflect and we are back to square one.
D - Georgei, sorry, to finish this speech: do you mean that each of us can go back - seeing what he projects on others - to things about himself?
Of course.
D - But it already takes a good skill!
It is enough, my dear, that you look at the people you fell in love with in your life and try to understand why you fell in love with those very people; then maybe, thinking about it later, some time, you say: “Look how stupid I was! It wasn't really worth it, ”but there were aspects that struck you.
You think that those aspects were not the real aspects of that person, that maybe he also had those nuances, but you saw "those" aspects, they were "those" aspects that interested you; and then, from realizing that they were those aspects that interested you, you can go back to why they interested you and what you were looking for, and that maybe you are still looking for it without finding it.
D - Excuse me a moment, but when these aspects instead appear to us only contrasting, and attract us for this reason, then what does it mean?
But it is the exact same speech. You mean when you are attracted by a person who is so different from you?
D - Exactly. Which seems to complete you as you do not have that something that you find in that person instead.
You answered yourself, my dear! It is precisely because you obviously want to be different and more complete and you see in the other an aspect that you would like to be yours and then you are attracted to this aspect. Georgei
*Questionable thesis: if I project myself onto the other and am not aware of it, how will this help me get to know myself? It would help me if I were aware of my projecting, but as I am not, I only see the "defects" of the other and I cannot trace them back to me. Ed.
to ed that says: Questionable thesis: if I project myself on the other and I am not aware of it, how will this help me to know myself? It would help me if I were aware of my projecting, but as I am not, I only see the "defects" of the other and I cannot trace them back to me.
In my opinion, your reasoning would be acceptable if the understanding were linked only to what the embodied individual is aware of. Fortunately this is not the case: the Akasic body becomes aware of the projections and elaborates their usefulness for the purpose of understanding even if the complexion is not aware of them.
Thanks for the specification, it was what I thought too but I wasn't sure.
I think of a misunderstanding, in fact I think it is obvious to everyone that it is as you say.
Catia explains it very well and the editor does not speak of the process of understanding but of awareness that is the basis of a journey of self-knowledge.
I think that the gaze is initially focused only on us and pointing the finger at the defects of the other is a demonstration of this.
In a second moment, awareness is acquired and one begins to understand that the other acts as my mirror.
Finally, when the gaze becomes even wider, the other from me reveals itself simply for what it is.
Thank you all for the contributions.
Can I translate "acting as a mirror" with the term transference, so dear to psychology?
In my opinion they are two very different things since it seems to me that the transference is closely linked to the "emotional" bond that is created between patient and analyst while the mirror that makes the other is its own projection that can also (and it is very easy that be so!) not to be recognized and, therefore, to lose its demonstrative strength for those who are faced ...
Perhaps, if we want to make a comparison with psychoanalysis, we can recognize the "mirroring" in the analyst's silent behavior towards the patient. But even in this case the analogy seems a bit risky to me.
Thanks for the clarification.
In order to get to grips with what Georgey, Admin in the note and Salaris said in the comment, I need to start from my experience. Until, through the psychology of the depth and the teachings of the IC, I did not put my hand to "know yourself" I had not been aware at all that others were my mirror.
I saw the behavior of others impacting my own and I attributed the responsibility to the other.
When I began to know my behavioral mechanisms, I was able to consciously become aware of projections and more.
Therefore the "know yourself" brings clarity on the motivations of one's behavior which then the Consciousness translates into understandings.
This does not mean that the Conscious also learns through projections and other unconscious data such as the sensory information that comes to it from individuals with compromised lower bodies, otherwise we should say that their life is without learning.
I feel like reiterating, therefore, that consciousness uses two ways to learn: one conscious and one unconscious.
thank you